She roamsand she giggles when she roamsexploring unseen homesstepping through portals of lives pastweavingin and out of placesleavingshards of soul strewn abouton run-down staircasessteadily more lost than foundforever scattered 'roundthe 'paradeisou lemonia'I.A.m

Someone told me thatthere was a fork in my road aheadbut that's not possible, I saidbecause I am not on a roadI floaton sunlight beams and winterdreamsaimlesslyit seems

Once again I findthe outer world not speaking its mind while unrelenting mumbling of inner speak as hostileas it ever washydromancy seepage ruining the canvasfierce flaming fervour a faux pas(ssshhhh...simmer down!)Posh permeable truth of theatricalityis whispering fabricated falsehoods - 'you got this, sure you got this!' - a hissa fizzfollowed by grim silencedeathlyseismic subsidencewidensshattering schism of realityhermeticallyreplacing the basicalityof trust (at some point I had this, I'm sure I had this)lostby me*I.A.m

Let'spursue the sinuous path up to the mound that grew our world askewfortuity flies in latitudin' libertyfowling thebeloved squawk of the hawkhover and divebe aliveLet's overstep track the crack of the no trail find love in an undosed exhalepussyfootin' feline sprintin' up the beelinehawking downsmell your blood cuz it's like minescour the flowerto devourthe hawk and the pantherhigh circle sly canterdon't slide or fear walkin' by my sidedon't fear walkin' by my sideon you I am countin'let's go tell the mountaingo tell the mountain

Mewatching the faceless methat only her-story can seemaintaining muse of memory''the breeze by your heelson the abyss of nothingnessbetter match the grip of your toes''she woes...and I don't understandI do not understandDecidedly - yet kind of aloof - Miss Clio berates me''your history is who you'd beif it weren't for mefucking with your sanity''(ehm...say what?)

I have the words to spare -in fact they overflow - I just can't figure out wherethey are supposed to goso they fluster confused and linklusterand cluster my brain till they bust herBOOMall my bla bla's blurting out on the floor makin' a ruckus with words I adoreso for the duration of this altercationwithout communication I'm stupified and reachless- believe me I tried - but I'm speechless

For the scope of the hope of the foolwho'll bareenlightenment in dreams bright 'n fair-stretched out as smoke suspended midair-will I fall, will I fly and oh will I dareto skip hop 'n jump and really not careHustle here, hustle thereHustle me bitch and you best bewareit's emotionalthis bodacious rise and fallloop de loopin' overhaulbut hey, you gotta keep movin' after allin spite of any bawling brawlsoduck for the morning star ballfor the scope of no hope is unbearable.

out of the blue emerged she who was led to surface todo what she came here to do(sometimes you just gotta do scary so as not to let scary do you) and all kinds of limbs just grewthe uninformed prince never knewthat her fragments bestrewtheir walk of life askewwhich, of course, is nothing newbut her soul flew the coupand she started to spewmemories of everything that blew throughthe completion that it came tophewtime to grow her tail anewand re-escape into the blueI.A.m

(do a slap dance do a slap dance do a do a do a slap dance)

I am out of sight!Out of mind? Or is it lost? I cried?mostly...I might be invisible!vibrational unobtainable? Blow brainable?ghastly unpertainable(and I can hear just em say:)The girl was never thereIt's always the sameI'm running towards nothingAgain and again and again and again...but I was there and I Am herecometh hither eyes no fearyearning for spacious shelteredness I professto long for uncontrolled falling apartcome undone, sprawl my heart no seas cortés(cut the fuckin forstalling!)all I need to figure out nowis how to pull my feet upwithout fallingI.A.m

Might my head - my mighty head -simmer down in silent steaddrawing freehand waving lineflawing through this brain o'mineon loosely tethered lifeline watch the wildchild's birthing*Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while*

lift arms up slowly through the air move em back and: rownowhere to paddle to though...solift arms up slowly through the airmove em back and there we go...breathing slow sips of sunshineresonating in water-muffled ears -no desire to be shifting gears-paddling on and the world is mineall is fine, reality kinda dissapearslift arms back up to the skyblink the salt out of yer eyemove em back and rowin a steady flowmoving along dear, nothing to see here there's only this faint and unclear being-bit-in-the-rear-fear'cause I don't knowwhat lurksin the vast endlessness belowadriftI.A.m

Restaking my claim to sanitywith barbed wired roses, you seespectors are tatingobliteratingand I don't want them anywhere near meI need you to fine'ly uncover mewith care and kid gloves and you'll seeme dangling on the precipiceof civilizationoblationthere's a time, there's a place for me

I used to be verschmeltzt with the nightungoverned I bloomed, undaunted my stridemany dark corners in many dark placesbellowing laughter, familiar facesdiggin' the git up ready to lit upfizzle ma thizzle dance the night awayletting my hips and my heartbeat swaytrippin the floor with its red squares of lavamy introverted idiotleading my macha bravaloving every drag of every cigaretteand let's not forget, I was a fabulous drinker toome and youJägermeister drowned in beerI saw your face and knew no fearwrapping up nights unfurledmellow out on top of the world (or was it buildings?) in a world berefteversince you leftI.A.m

susurrus us as susurration bawdy tweedle da de badhanfuddled unswaddled waddletwaddle tweaked bamboozled meekit is donethe unsettled battledthe ordered ordinarinessunscathed escape imperforate not a day to soon

(la la la la la la la lapull back the curtain)Steppingout

DammitI tried to contain but outgrew myselfgeez what a mess I must confessand eventhough I squeeze a bitI try! I do! I just won't fitnimble ego (playing miss) shytook her off the shelf in a drive bysoothed the awakening self while in dancing deluge spirit is spilling overand over(and over and over)gravity caught in a game oftuggawar with the etherealand both are winningexpanding soul playingpainbody whack a moledoused dragon on a wire can't help but breathe fireflaming feisty fulminationdon't need your approvaldon't mind the abhorfuck all thatand let me Kali some moreI.A.m

And againI wrecked my jaw in soundless screamingclawing my eyes shut for missing the dreaming''I wanted to get out of hereBut every time I reappearNow I have the words my dearTo whisper out into your ear'''just take a breath!'incite my wrathif you mustfor nothing here is justand againI sighdunno whybut I can whistle while I cryI.A.m

Curveballsthat wretched'you + not good enough'carefully chiseled in ya boleeffortlessly turns into'I am not good enough'polishing a hole in ya soul...- damn that's col' - ...draft always gushing through thehole fluting brash out of tune soundsand you attempting to plug it with dust bunnies hoppin' around in your headuntil you decide..nah uh...not this rabbithole again!- and the darkest hour is just before dawn - that floaty moment...not quite able to move yetbut if you dream just loud enough the dawn egg breaksdaylight flooding through the cracksshe-wolf ends her song at the moonas she dances homeon dragon eggshellsand just like thatsnap!you become unclenchedableto flip the 'I am not good enough'right back to 'you're not good enough'disposed and returned to senderin gracecuzwholeI.A.m

Lemme show ya some truthand I'll tell you some liesand bop bopwill mix em rightup in disguise Let me be stupidwhile you try to be wiseand sassefrazzlesock em in the eyeguysfor'If you have to askyou'll never know'that I told you a lieand have told you soI.A.m

In thrilling warble singsteller of all things'if you want to die, you simply have to stop livingbutif you want to live you surely have to stop dying,it is that easy love'andshe flew off

Encore once more I wake upmove eat speak walk think laugh curse eat walk feeland for fuck's sakesmile(stradling the tightrope of lunacyin always unravelling strivebecause in the safety of normalcyyou will never feel fully aliveshoving your whole life in barrowwalkin' the rope that is freakishly narrowmakes it hard to breathe in comforttightassed striving onforth)my hand bobbin on the wave goodbyeheart on the flymy feet stuck in wet sandwhile in the endmy spirit moves ontill I'm goneI.A.m

One day I poked my mindthrough the fabric of possibilitiesI didn't even know were therein the wake of my heart I findan endless sea of feasabilitiesand I want 'em all I swearso I swivel soulboundand in my depths I foundmy own gatesurrender to ma own fateawryI let my dragons flydialed inI.A.m

broken mirrors eyes glossed over in a stare(so you do not care, better not care!)lined up in a perfect row so you knowwhat to think and where to gocuz if yer not then you can't playthe muddeled maladjusted waythere's no sway once yer out yer there to stay logic malignedfeelings flatlinedmonomania rocked in greya world in glorious decay'It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonderhow I keep from going under'

You may think it is time to press 'fast forward' dearpay no attention to the scenery herein the now, surfing the pastno clue if this will pass or lastPress pauze and be right where you arecontemplate past and present from afarI know time just whizzez by so fastbut babythis present time shall last and lasthey wewhy do we live in such a hurrytake some time to breathe not worryand maybecurb your longing for yesteryearupwards and onwardschin up no fear'cause you may wind upseeappriciate who you are nowand claim theeI.A.m

Can I please just sit here for a whilestill and motionlessjust sit without a forced on smileand have all my emotions clashCould you please just have my backstay still and word'less feel your hand just below my neckjust until it hurts lessI've dishonored my sacred spacein countless and repetitious waysbut no moregraciously I decline the crazeand thereforafter feeling my way through the hazeI find myself in a dazeno moreI.A.m

If you give it a little squintYou can hear the words get carried by windmoon tides tempo riddleIs it too much?Or is it too little?while the flute plays and the snake swaysslams its teeth inmy tattooed skinI'll have my audaciousness augmentednot be too clear on whether I meant itsurrender to being the serial offenderthe way to not suffer the lunacylies in accepting your free to beI.A.m(Watchu thinkin'?) 

That first kiss receive reciprocate don't escalatehowever blood rushmakin' your core blushmakin' your prudence swayin sinnerates your soul anddetonates your breath away ''She said, hey yo, ya wanna give it a go?''I.A.m

I did a million miles of thinking dearbeing neither there nor herestead of squashing my fearof being alone I honein on my securitiesletting the obscuritiesthatI.A.m

In a world where demand is prevalent- and she is inclined to answer -to shut out what's malevolentshe needs a space to be herA room with books beloved smellwhere hushly whispered secrets dwellin rosey robes that rustle redand all the thoughts she ever hadwhere tears will sudden cite a smileand laughter turns to ragewhere profanity is loud and vileand anger seeps through narrow gauge for ancient wisdom, doors shut tightentranced in deeply sacred rite her rules, her knowing, her movesa room of her own is what she behooves

Newneural pathways of light awakening me at nightand timespace starts playing tricks on mecause it does you see, whilst leading meto an endless seaof possibilitywithin meI.A.mps: Tag! You are it!

Lesson one'How to create your future memories'If I close my eyes tightI just mightcatch a glimpse of a memoryof a place I have never been, see the eyes of someone I never met possibly regret what I haven't done yet.Come whatever mayretrospect is never far away.I.A.m

Scared to live, scared to feeltoo scared to look in them eyes for realAfraid to move, afraid to sit stillafraid of life,  afraid at willFrantically searching for solace painstakingly looking for flawlessmistakenly trying to push throughignoring the pain that is in youAnd the hurt rages on, in spiteso you just as well mightstop resisting the frightand feel with care what is theresadness doesn't yield to forcedenial don't defeat remorsecause what ever comes down and what ever is upit is all just a storm in life's teacupI.A.m

Rejoicing in day's endthe softening of everything at duskwhen brusk light starts to blendintohello darkness my old friendWith every exhale I slip out of my skin some moreshadow dancing into the nightscape 'here we go, let's dance babe'The realm where wishes lead the waythe space you want to butcan never stayblink the ocean in my bedroomresurfaceand tabled talks will reassumeI.A.m

Into the woodswhere silence is seethingstagnant smells and stifled breathingall that lives is wasting awaylayer upon layer of death and decayThis is where mama nature livesand diesand livedand diedand however careful you stridethe slight abash sensation of cracking bones beneath is as inevitable as the realizationthat I am just notinto the woodsI.A.m

Featherbrain dreams keep me up all daythey just won't leave the dance floorthoughts keep tap tap tappin' awayas I try to exhale some moreincipit snippetsdashing through my waking hoursa gallop that just won't developthe harder I try the harder it cowersAnd then I yearn for nightfall you seeoftentimes it seemsthe awake time might just bethe pause between my dreamsI.A.m

When the eye gazing upon you is pitchblack echo's in your soulcausing a constant itchthat you just can't scratchsticky shit that won't detachcrap you just can't shakeI assure you,you will not breakfor what ever you are feelingknow my loveI will always make it rain petals from your ceilingI.A.m